It’s not that it’s new, it’s that the opioid crisis and COVID have vastly expanded the arrangement.
Deaths from overdoses + parents losing their rights, or abandoning their children, have increased (in fact, in 2010 it was double what it was when we started tracking this in the 1970s).
What’s also underreported is the number of kids effectively orphaned by COVID. Something like 200k children lost their primary caregiver in the first few years of the pandemic.
As costs have risen and safety nets (like pensions) have declined, raising your grandchildren in 2026 is a much more expensive proposition than it was in the 90s.
This is actually a crisis for a lot of families. For every 1 grandparent getting help for fostering their grandchildren, 13 are doing so without formal provisions that provide financial help.
So yes, you may have known a few families in the 90s. But now it’s way more families with far fewer social supports.
Edit: I misremembered the number. It’s 529k in the US alone
Edit to the Edit: sorry, 529 in the AMERICAS, over 200K in the US when you consider the death of a primary caregiver
me either, til I had to pull this data together for a grant proposal!
The saddest part is that some portion of these kids were already living with grandparents because of incarceration/overdoses/neglect from their parents. So the last person who could care for them died.
That’s why they say “effective” orphans. Technically some percentage of the parents are alive but were not parenting their children.
As sad as losing a parent to death is, I think for the grandparent caregivers, that situation is sometimes less stressful than trying to raise kids and navigate the dysfunctional bio parents.
Absolutely - we try to take them at least once a month. Unfortunately we are about 3 hours away, but my other sisters who live nearby take them a lot too :)
I remember reading early on in the pandemic about two little kids whose parents both died from Covid. Just so sad. It’s tragic that so many people have joined the anti-vaccine movement and aren’t considering the potential outcomes of getting sick.
From Business Insider’s Noah Sheidlower:
Dorenne Simonson didn't anticipate being a mother again — especially not at 66.
Simonson, who manages a direct care office in New Jersey, took over as the primary caregiver for her granddaughter when her daughter was unable to care for her, just two months after giving birth.
Simonson, a single mother of five grown children, no longer considers herself a grandparent to her now-four-year-old granddaughter; she's the mom.
She's up at 5:30 a.m., packing lunch, and doing her granddaughter's hair. She drives her to day care, then works from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. After making her dinner, she tucks her granddaughter in by 8 p.m. Weekends mean laundry, cleaning, and food prep. Her granddaughter was born exposed to drugs and has poor vision, so much of her PTO goes toward caseworker meetings or trying to find proper medical care. Even securing baby formula was a struggle. It's left her with little time for herself and a limited social life. And given the costs, Simonson expects to work until she dies.
"I've always been in a situation where I pretty much had to spend whatever I made, and so I do look at the future and go, 'This is going to be interesting,'" Simonson says.
In interviews for my 80 Over 80 series, a comprehensive look at America's oldest workers, dozens of grandparents said their role in their grandchildren's lives deviates dramatically from what they remembered of their own grandparents. Many said that because they worked at least part-time, there weren't as many opportunities to see or call their grandchildren. Many wish they could support their grandchildren's education and well-being, but with the rising costs of long-term care and daily expenses, any extra money goes toward savings. Some said they've been forced to choose between buying a birthday gift for their grandson and paying the water bill.
Others, like Simonson, have had to step into a more active role, becoming a full-time caregiver. For many grandparents with additional responsibilities, aging doesn't come with a golf club membership. Over two dozen grandparents who are caring for their grandchildren full-time told me this year that doing so has been rewarding but wallet-sucking, agitating, and invisible.
Either way, many said they don't fit the stereotype of the crocheting, cookie-baking, and sweet, if occasional, presence. For some, the new paradigm hurts.
I surprised that this is treated as a new thing? I went to small school in the 90s and there were at least 2 families with kids being raised by grandparents.
I think it’s an income thing, so it surprises a lot of journalists, but not people who have grown up poorer. I think we (us poors) have ALWAYS known a lot of peers who were being fully raised by grandparents - not just spending time with them. Usually because of drug use.
So no, it’s not new. But I think it’s new how much young parents have to rely on their own parents for financial assistance. You could kind of figure out life on a slightly-above-minimum-wage job 20 years ago. You can’t really do it without working multiple jobs now, which makes it impossible to parent.
Yep. I'm Gen X. I was raised by my mom's parents. My birthfather is a pedophile and a POS, and my mom had alcohol and prescription med addictions. They were married when I was born, but she figured out what he was and left while I was still an infant. So she saved me from sexual abuse, despite her addictions.
My half-siblings from his second marriage weren't so fortunate.
I grew up dirt poor and through sport managed to make it to college and now live middle class- it’s insane to me how many people don’t realise that the military is the only choice for a lot of people. It’s basically the only institution left in America where a person can walk in from nothing and end up elevating their social class and status. A lot of my peers seem to think most people join up for some grand adventure and not bc it’s their only chance to get citizenship or because all industry was moved offshore and now there’s nothing to do in their town but meth
Hi! It's true that this phenomenon isn't necessarily new, but it is increasingly common. Here's a little more from Noah's reporting: "Older grandparents — particularly grandmothers — are increasingly taking on caregiving responsibilities. An analysis of the Census Bureau's American Community Survey (ACS) by researchers from the University of Pittsburgh found that between 2009 and 2021, grandparent caregivers 60 and older living without the child's parent present rose by nearly 21%."
Yep. As a journo, I covered this issue extensively back in early 2000’s and it led to a policy change in the state, giving g grandparents more rights an the ability to apply for foster funds.
I grew up in a poor part of a poor state and, while I had a bunch of friends who lived w grandparents, it's, like what seems like a majority of some classes here now. It's WILD.
Don’t suprise me, even if it surprises those grandparents. Thank the folks who have busted the economy, removed safety nets, and limited options for people.
It sucks that there are folks who have children they can’t raise, although I suspect there ma be more of that coming with the current administration limiting the options for women to do otherwise.
I don’t have children, partially because I just don’t want to - I’ve helped raise 23 neices and nephews and had my fill of babies - but because I do not have the support network to allow me to work and maintain the life I have with children.
The situation sucks. For everyone. Period.
For those forced to help, and those who can’t help themselves.
What about us in our 40s who are raising kids and physically/financially supporting our boomer parents who didn’t save for retirement but feel entitled to our time, money and enery? My kid’s grandparents (my MIL) can’t take care of herself (by choice) let alone watch my kids.
This isn't a new trend, except in certain communities. This is demographics thing and highly linked to the opioid crisis, IMO. This caretaking role is "increasing" for middle class white people. The fact that these grandparents don't remember their own grandparents doing this role is a function of economics and demographics and major shifts in both. In American history, a relaxing retirement is the exception, not the rule, and even in the "good old days" many didn't have pensions.
Multigenerational houses have been common throughout US history among many groups. I think this article was really about white middle class grandparents who assumed their kids would "launch" at 18 and not move back, being surprised that didn't occur. It's about the individualistic mindset not working out. That is an interesting topic! It could have explored specific cultural expectations and how some can only be upheld in a post WW2 boom, and what that means about identity and capitalism and the "American dream" for white middle class people. I would have enjoyed reading that.
This article was flat. Not up to the standard of this sub IMO.
>This caretaking role is "increasing" for middle class white people.
When I was working with the homeless a long time ago I noticed a very unusual shift. I was consistently interacting with straight, white people from middle class backgrounds. I'm Mexican-American and with us there is this underground self-sustaining community that exists because of illegal immigration. I'm not ignoring the evil-ness of the cartels but they provide social services in their own very fucked up way and police things to not cause disruptions in their chain.
"This isn't a new trend, except in certain communities."
"This caretaking role is "increasing" for "
I didn't miss the point, lol, I literally acknowledged it in my first sentences.
I just think the writer should have drilled down way more. This sub is about long reads, which are in depth explorations, not clickbait summaries of census trends. This is fine for an overview or a starting point but it's really just pointing and saying, "look, an increase!"
Edit: I enjoy discussion. I'd rather someone argue why I'm wrong than silently downvote. I'm not trying to be a jerk but this is my favorite sub bc of the quality level. I have read some of the best stuff here and I don't want it to get filled with mid tier summary-level articles.
I grew up in an economically depressed rust belt city during the height of the crack cocaine era in the 1990s. 25-30% of my peers were being raised by grandparent(s) because their parent(s) were addicted to crack, or in prison for crimes related to selling or using crack.
Longreads-ModTeam | 23 hours ago
Removed for breaking subreddit rule #4: we want recommendations, not self-promotions.
LexiePiexie | a day ago
It’s not that it’s new, it’s that the opioid crisis and COVID have vastly expanded the arrangement.
Deaths from overdoses + parents losing their rights, or abandoning their children, have increased (in fact, in 2010 it was double what it was when we started tracking this in the 1970s).
What’s also underreported is the number of kids effectively orphaned by COVID. Something like 200k children lost their primary caregiver in the first few years of the pandemic.
As costs have risen and safety nets (like pensions) have declined, raising your grandchildren in 2026 is a much more expensive proposition than it was in the 90s.
This is actually a crisis for a lot of families. For every 1 grandparent getting help for fostering their grandchildren, 13 are doing so without formal provisions that provide financial help.
So yes, you may have known a few families in the 90s. But now it’s way more families with far fewer social supports.
Edit: I misremembered the number. It’s 529k in the US alone
Edit to the Edit: sorry, 529 in the AMERICAS, over 200K in the US when you consider the death of a primary caregiver
GoldScientist5033 | a day ago
didn't realize it was that many kids affected by covid
LexiePiexie | a day ago
me either, til I had to pull this data together for a grant proposal!
The saddest part is that some portion of these kids were already living with grandparents because of incarceration/overdoses/neglect from their parents. So the last person who could care for them died.
That’s why they say “effective” orphans. Technically some percentage of the parents are alive but were not parenting their children.
HazyDavey68 | a day ago
As sad as losing a parent to death is, I think for the grandparent caregivers, that situation is sometimes less stressful than trying to raise kids and navigate the dysfunctional bio parents.
LexiePiexie | a day ago
oh 100%. My parents are currently raising my niece and nephew, dependent on the whims of their neglectful mother and addict father.
HazyDavey68 | a day ago
It’s a no-win situation. I hope you can give your parents a bit of help.
LexiePiexie | a day ago
Absolutely - we try to take them at least once a month. Unfortunately we are about 3 hours away, but my other sisters who live nearby take them a lot too :)
HazyDavey68 | a day ago
That’s great. It makes a huge difference if the rest of the family can step up. The kids need it.
Easy-Concentrate2636 | a day ago
I remember reading early on in the pandemic about two little kids whose parents both died from Covid. Just so sad. It’s tragic that so many people have joined the anti-vaccine movement and aren’t considering the potential outcomes of getting sick.
AffectionateTune9251 | a day ago
Damn, that is horrible
[OP] businessinsider | a day ago
From Business Insider’s Noah Sheidlower:
Dorenne Simonson didn't anticipate being a mother again — especially not at 66.
Simonson, who manages a direct care office in New Jersey, took over as the primary caregiver for her granddaughter when her daughter was unable to care for her, just two months after giving birth.
Simonson, a single mother of five grown children, no longer considers herself a grandparent to her now-four-year-old granddaughter; she's the mom.
She's up at 5:30 a.m., packing lunch, and doing her granddaughter's hair. She drives her to day care, then works from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. After making her dinner, she tucks her granddaughter in by 8 p.m. Weekends mean laundry, cleaning, and food prep. Her granddaughter was born exposed to drugs and has poor vision, so much of her PTO goes toward caseworker meetings or trying to find proper medical care. Even securing baby formula was a struggle. It's left her with little time for herself and a limited social life. And given the costs, Simonson expects to work until she dies.
"I've always been in a situation where I pretty much had to spend whatever I made, and so I do look at the future and go, 'This is going to be interesting,'" Simonson says.
In interviews for my 80 Over 80 series, a comprehensive look at America's oldest workers, dozens of grandparents said their role in their grandchildren's lives deviates dramatically from what they remembered of their own grandparents. Many said that because they worked at least part-time, there weren't as many opportunities to see or call their grandchildren. Many wish they could support their grandchildren's education and well-being, but with the rising costs of long-term care and daily expenses, any extra money goes toward savings. Some said they've been forced to choose between buying a birthday gift for their grandson and paying the water bill.
Others, like Simonson, have had to step into a more active role, becoming a full-time caregiver. For many grandparents with additional responsibilities, aging doesn't come with a golf club membership. Over two dozen grandparents who are caring for their grandchildren full-time told me this year that doing so has been rewarding but wallet-sucking, agitating, and invisible.
Either way, many said they don't fit the stereotype of the crocheting, cookie-baking, and sweet, if occasional, presence. For some, the new paradigm hurts.
Read more on the new reality of being a grandparent in America.
maybetomorrow98 | a day ago
> I’ve always been in a situation where I pretty much had to spend whatever I made
Sounds like she wasn’t going to be able to retire anyway, much like many people in the US regardless of whether or not they’re raising their grandkids
Haunting_Top_1198 | a day ago
reminds me of that movie "Raising Helen" with a twist
Feisty-Resource-1274 | a day ago
I surprised that this is treated as a new thing? I went to small school in the 90s and there were at least 2 families with kids being raised by grandparents.
DustShallEatTheDays | a day ago
I think it’s an income thing, so it surprises a lot of journalists, but not people who have grown up poorer. I think we (us poors) have ALWAYS known a lot of peers who were being fully raised by grandparents - not just spending time with them. Usually because of drug use.
So no, it’s not new. But I think it’s new how much young parents have to rely on their own parents for financial assistance. You could kind of figure out life on a slightly-above-minimum-wage job 20 years ago. You can’t really do it without working multiple jobs now, which makes it impossible to parent.
rotervogel1231 | a day ago
Yep. I'm Gen X. I was raised by my mom's parents. My birthfather is a pedophile and a POS, and my mom had alcohol and prescription med addictions. They were married when I was born, but she figured out what he was and left while I was still an infant. So she saved me from sexual abuse, despite her addictions.
My half-siblings from his second marriage weren't so fortunate.
Feisty-Resource-1274 | a day ago
That makes sense. Like how military service is very common amongst the poors but unheard of amongst the not poors.
Real_Mycologist_3163 | a day ago
I grew up dirt poor and through sport managed to make it to college and now live middle class- it’s insane to me how many people don’t realise that the military is the only choice for a lot of people. It’s basically the only institution left in America where a person can walk in from nothing and end up elevating their social class and status. A lot of my peers seem to think most people join up for some grand adventure and not bc it’s their only chance to get citizenship or because all industry was moved offshore and now there’s nothing to do in their town but meth
TheGeneGeena | a day ago
I wish more dirt poor folks knew about Job Corps. It's a solid alternative.
[OP] businessinsider | a day ago
Hi! It's true that this phenomenon isn't necessarily new, but it is increasingly common. Here's a little more from Noah's reporting: "Older grandparents — particularly grandmothers — are increasingly taking on caregiving responsibilities. An analysis of the Census Bureau's American Community Survey (ACS) by researchers from the University of Pittsburgh found that between 2009 and 2021, grandparent caregivers 60 and older living without the child's parent present rose by nearly 21%."
Jolly-Slice-6722 | a day ago
Yep. As a journo, I covered this issue extensively back in early 2000’s and it led to a policy change in the state, giving g grandparents more rights an the ability to apply for foster funds.
Glittering-Lychee629 | a day ago
I remember reading about this back then!
tealccart | a day ago
👏
Jolly-Slice-6722 | 23 hours ago
That’s kind of you. I did win a national award for the coverage, which spanned two years.
tealccart | 22 hours ago
It’s good to know there’s someone doing good in this world. Kudos!
DarkFlutesofAutumn | a day ago
I grew up in a poor part of a poor state and, while I had a bunch of friends who lived w grandparents, it's, like what seems like a majority of some classes here now. It's WILD.
Mirantibus88 | a day ago
Don’t suprise me, even if it surprises those grandparents. Thank the folks who have busted the economy, removed safety nets, and limited options for people.
It sucks that there are folks who have children they can’t raise, although I suspect there ma be more of that coming with the current administration limiting the options for women to do otherwise.
I don’t have children, partially because I just don’t want to - I’ve helped raise 23 neices and nephews and had my fill of babies - but because I do not have the support network to allow me to work and maintain the life I have with children.
The situation sucks. For everyone. Period. For those forced to help, and those who can’t help themselves.
AffectionateTune9251 | a day ago
Archive link pls
zygoma_phile | a day ago
Here you go! https://archive.ph/SrD5y
AffectionateTune9251 | a day ago
Thank you king
readingrambos | a day ago
I recently discovered the 14 year old sister of a student is pregnant. All the luck to her poor mother.
recumbent_mike | a day ago
My neighbor a few years back was a grandmother at 31. It's a hard road.
DCSubi | a day ago
What about us in our 40s who are raising kids and physically/financially supporting our boomer parents who didn’t save for retirement but feel entitled to our time, money and enery? My kid’s grandparents (my MIL) can’t take care of herself (by choice) let alone watch my kids.
Glittering-Lychee629 | a day ago
This isn't a new trend, except in certain communities. This is demographics thing and highly linked to the opioid crisis, IMO. This caretaking role is "increasing" for middle class white people. The fact that these grandparents don't remember their own grandparents doing this role is a function of economics and demographics and major shifts in both. In American history, a relaxing retirement is the exception, not the rule, and even in the "good old days" many didn't have pensions.
Multigenerational houses have been common throughout US history among many groups. I think this article was really about white middle class grandparents who assumed their kids would "launch" at 18 and not move back, being surprised that didn't occur. It's about the individualistic mindset not working out. That is an interesting topic! It could have explored specific cultural expectations and how some can only be upheld in a post WW2 boom, and what that means about identity and capitalism and the "American dream" for white middle class people. I would have enjoyed reading that.
This article was flat. Not up to the standard of this sub IMO.
turtlekissinglips | a day ago
>This caretaking role is "increasing" for middle class white people.
When I was working with the homeless a long time ago I noticed a very unusual shift. I was consistently interacting with straight, white people from middle class backgrounds. I'm Mexican-American and with us there is this underground self-sustaining community that exists because of illegal immigration. I'm not ignoring the evil-ness of the cartels but they provide social services in their own very fucked up way and police things to not cause disruptions in their chain.
FreeCashFlow | a day ago
You missed the point. The article wasn't saying "here is a new thing," it was saying "this thing is happening more than ever before."
Glittering-Lychee629 | a day ago
"This isn't a new trend, except in certain communities."
"This caretaking role is "increasing" for "
I didn't miss the point, lol, I literally acknowledged it in my first sentences.
I just think the writer should have drilled down way more. This sub is about long reads, which are in depth explorations, not clickbait summaries of census trends. This is fine for an overview or a starting point but it's really just pointing and saying, "look, an increase!"
Edit: I enjoy discussion. I'd rather someone argue why I'm wrong than silently downvote. I'm not trying to be a jerk but this is my favorite sub bc of the quality level. I have read some of the best stuff here and I don't want it to get filled with mid tier summary-level articles.
bubbabearzle | a day ago
My aunt was raising her great grandson until the day she died. He was only 12, so his great aunt took over for her.
Zoratheesavage | 23 hours ago
I grew up in an economically depressed rust belt city during the height of the crack cocaine era in the 1990s. 25-30% of my peers were being raised by grandparent(s) because their parent(s) were addicted to crack, or in prison for crimes related to selling or using crack.