It’s one of the oddities of our modern digital world and parenting styles. I’m a kid of the 80s back when it was encouraged to go off and play by yourself. Go for a five-mile day trip on public transport with your friend, sure as long as you were home for dinner. Society has definitely changed and IMO not for the better in that respect.
Those kids on milk cartons really did a number to our collective psyche. People are so unrealistically afraid of stranger danger its poisoned our culture
It's not just that - it's also when a kid does something remotely annoying, everyone looks around and asks "where are the parents?!" And blame parents for every single little infraction. (Before the child haters come at me, I'm not talking about extreme irresponsibility here, I'm talking about mild annoyances). So yea, I don't let my kid play outside without someone present because God forbid she walks slightly into someone's front yard to look at a butterfly and someone blames me for not teaching her to not step an inch onto someone's property. It's a very kid unfriendly world now IMHO. Let the downvotes and the "then you shouldn't have kids if you can't watch them 24/7" comments commence.
Of course this is also a result of the change in how children were expected to respond to adults that werent their parents.
As a kid if a neighbor adult told me to do something, I was expected to do so, or I'd hear about it later from my parents.
Now parents flip out if another adult tells their precious kid to do anything. So yeah, if only the parents can do anything about their kids getting into trouble, of course there's a "where are the parents"
I'm not sure I agree with this. There have been plenty of times I've chastised another kid and the parents were there, overheard, and apologized. My kid has also been corrected plenty of times at playgrounds and if I witnessed it, I've made sure to apologize or reaffirm the correction. This comes with caveats obviously - being mad a 2 year old takes another toy is not age appropriate. My 6 year old? Definitely let her know she shouldn't have done that. I'm not sure why you felt the need to make a dig by using the word "precious" sarcastically. Yea I think my kid is precious because she's my child and I love her. Does that mean I don't think she can't do anything wrong? No.
I feel this is very location dependent because I have a few close friends that are teachers and we've had this discussion ad nauseum and they also have the same opinion.
When I was 8 I would disappear into the woods behind our house all day. Sun up to sunset. With a rifle. Usually come home with a squirrel or something for dinner.
I did the same except without the squirrel or the rifle lol. I took my husky out into the woods with me and our indoor/outdoor black cat would follow us. There I would make up stories and then come back by dark.
I work in a forest and go out and take wildlife photos sometimes. Squirrel photos are harder than I expected because they’re so much more skittish compared to my neighborhood squirrels!
People try to blame "parents these days" for not raising independent, free-range children. But the government is a big part of the problem. Legislators need to get off their asses and explicitly leagalize letting kids as young as 8 being left alone.
Instead of stopping child predators, we have decided they are just a fact of life and have decided it is much easier to stop children from doing literally anything because there might be child predators.
We could give kids the language required to say someone molested them, and teach them about consent so that they could know when an adult violates that, but that would piss off the oldest and richest guys you can imagine. Sorry Timmy, you can't do literally anything because there might be molesters. Please understand.
To be fair, my kids are far better equipped to perceive and report sexual abuse than anyone in my generation was. My kids got “good touch, bad touch” and other bodily autonomy instruction in school at a very young age.
Kids today are explicitly told, “Nobody, including a family member, has the right to touch you inappropriately.” And reporting sexual abuse is far less stigmatized than it was in the 70s and 80s.
My kids knew what “consent” meant in elementary school.
We still have a long way to go, but let’s not pretend we haven’t made significant progress in this regard.
I have a friend who got the police called over kids playing in the front yard. (She lives on a street with a lot of townhouses, lots of kids who play in the communal long yard, suburban, low crime.) Supposedly they were worried that the kids might get hit by a car pulling into the driveway (because yes, they do cross the driveway between yards pretty often, but it's not exactly a high traffic zone.)
My friend was inside the living room watching them through the front window. The neighbor's dad was making dinner and listening to the kids play.
(The police just stopped for long enough to note that the kids were indeed supervised and wished everyone a good night, so I suspect they knew it was bullshit.)
No state has a law that explicitly says children can’t play outside alone. Yet there are still news reports about parents being called in for letting their child walk to school on their own or play at a park unsupervised. Given that many states’ child neglect laws are open to interpretation, it can be difficult for a parent to know when their free-range parenting style has crossed a legal line. Parents can’t stop someone from calling in to authorities about their child being out on their own, but there are some steps parents can take to defend their actions if they get an inquiry about their child’s welfare.
Many states have laws regarding the minimum age for leaving children home alone, the high being age 14 in Illinois, which ends up being anchoring every other decision. If it's illegal for a parent to go to the park and leave their kid home alone they can't exactly feel safe (legally) staying home and letting their kid go to the park alone.
MoonlightStarfish | 9 hours ago
It’s one of the oddities of our modern digital world and parenting styles. I’m a kid of the 80s back when it was encouraged to go off and play by yourself. Go for a five-mile day trip on public transport with your friend, sure as long as you were home for dinner. Society has definitely changed and IMO not for the better in that respect.
ChocoPablobar | 8 hours ago
Those kids on milk cartons really did a number to our collective psyche. People are so unrealistically afraid of stranger danger its poisoned our culture
scruffy69 | 7 hours ago
Especially since statistically speaking it's not strangers we need to be afraid of, but family members.
ryosen | 4 hours ago
I would point the blame more at 24/7 news channels and the rise of fear-based advertising
bnc22 | 6 hours ago
It's not just that - it's also when a kid does something remotely annoying, everyone looks around and asks "where are the parents?!" And blame parents for every single little infraction. (Before the child haters come at me, I'm not talking about extreme irresponsibility here, I'm talking about mild annoyances). So yea, I don't let my kid play outside without someone present because God forbid she walks slightly into someone's front yard to look at a butterfly and someone blames me for not teaching her to not step an inch onto someone's property. It's a very kid unfriendly world now IMHO. Let the downvotes and the "then you shouldn't have kids if you can't watch them 24/7" comments commence.
fcocyclone | 6 hours ago
Of course this is also a result of the change in how children were expected to respond to adults that werent their parents.
As a kid if a neighbor adult told me to do something, I was expected to do so, or I'd hear about it later from my parents.
Now parents flip out if another adult tells their precious kid to do anything. So yeah, if only the parents can do anything about their kids getting into trouble, of course there's a "where are the parents"
bnc22 | 6 hours ago
I'm not sure I agree with this. There have been plenty of times I've chastised another kid and the parents were there, overheard, and apologized. My kid has also been corrected plenty of times at playgrounds and if I witnessed it, I've made sure to apologize or reaffirm the correction. This comes with caveats obviously - being mad a 2 year old takes another toy is not age appropriate. My 6 year old? Definitely let her know she shouldn't have done that. I'm not sure why you felt the need to make a dig by using the word "precious" sarcastically. Yea I think my kid is precious because she's my child and I love her. Does that mean I don't think she can't do anything wrong? No.
manimal28 | 2 hours ago
> . Does that mean I don't think she can't do anything wrong? No.
As a former teacher, my opinion is you are a minority. Or at least not an overwhelming majority.
bnc22 | an hour ago
I feel this is very location dependent because I have a few close friends that are teachers and we've had this discussion ad nauseum and they also have the same opinion.
AspieAsshole | 3 hours ago
Honestly I think that trend died with the Gen Xers, I have seen a return to collective parenting among millennials.
Gullex | 9 hours ago
When I was 8 I would disappear into the woods behind our house all day. Sun up to sunset. With a rifle. Usually come home with a squirrel or something for dinner.
UnderlightIll | 3 hours ago
I did the same except without the squirrel or the rifle lol. I took my husky out into the woods with me and our indoor/outdoor black cat would follow us. There I would make up stories and then come back by dark.
Single-Pin-369 | 8 hours ago
What is your favorite way to prepare squirrel? Also why are they everywhere in suburbia but I never see them actually in the woods.
Gullex | 7 hours ago
>What is your favorite way to prepare squirrel?
Stewed with cream of mushroom soup and served over mashed potatoes.
>Also why are they everywhere in suburbia but I never see them actually in the woods.
City squirrels are far less wary of humans than woodland squirrels.
PartyPorpoise | 6 hours ago
I work in a forest and go out and take wildlife photos sometimes. Squirrel photos are harder than I expected because they’re so much more skittish compared to my neighborhood squirrels!
EmeraldHawk | 8 hours ago
People try to blame "parents these days" for not raising independent, free-range children. But the government is a big part of the problem. Legislators need to get off their asses and explicitly leagalize letting kids as young as 8 being left alone.
SquidTheRidiculous | 4 hours ago
Instead of stopping child predators, we have decided they are just a fact of life and have decided it is much easier to stop children from doing literally anything because there might be child predators.
We could give kids the language required to say someone molested them, and teach them about consent so that they could know when an adult violates that, but that would piss off the oldest and richest guys you can imagine. Sorry Timmy, you can't do literally anything because there might be molesters. Please understand.
virak_john | 51 minutes ago
To be fair, my kids are far better equipped to perceive and report sexual abuse than anyone in my generation was. My kids got “good touch, bad touch” and other bodily autonomy instruction in school at a very young age.
Kids today are explicitly told, “Nobody, including a family member, has the right to touch you inappropriately.” And reporting sexual abuse is far less stigmatized than it was in the 70s and 80s.
My kids knew what “consent” meant in elementary school.
We still have a long way to go, but let’s not pretend we haven’t made significant progress in this regard.
wisdomoftheages36 | 2 hours ago
Context is king. It’s not safe to let kids run around some places… and there should definitely be an age limit.
Also just because something worked out ok for you doesn’t mean that it applies to everyone without exception
Paksarra | 8 hours ago
I have a friend who got the police called over kids playing in the front yard. (She lives on a street with a lot of townhouses, lots of kids who play in the communal long yard, suburban, low crime.) Supposedly they were worried that the kids might get hit by a car pulling into the driveway (because yes, they do cross the driveway between yards pretty often, but it's not exactly a high traffic zone.)
My friend was inside the living room watching them through the front window. The neighbor's dad was making dinner and listening to the kids play.
(The police just stopped for long enough to note that the kids were indeed supervised and wished everyone a good night, so I suspect they knew it was bullshit.)
[OP] NoloLaw | 10 hours ago
No state has a law that explicitly says children can’t play outside alone. Yet there are still news reports about parents being called in for letting their child walk to school on their own or play at a park unsupervised. Given that many states’ child neglect laws are open to interpretation, it can be difficult for a parent to know when their free-range parenting style has crossed a legal line. Parents can’t stop someone from calling in to authorities about their child being out on their own, but there are some steps parents can take to defend their actions if they get an inquiry about their child’s welfare.
DogOrDonut | 4 hours ago
Many states have laws regarding the minimum age for leaving children home alone, the high being age 14 in Illinois, which ends up being anchoring every other decision. If it's illegal for a parent to go to the park and leave their kid home alone they can't exactly feel safe (legally) staying home and letting their kid go to the park alone.
RexDraco | 9 hours ago
You can let your kid wander around alone but God forbid you leave your child alone at your house and the CPS might show up .
raptorlightning | 4 hours ago
We should just codify whatever we did on average in the late 80s/90s. That was the best balance I feel.
thirdman | 8 hours ago
If so, my parents should be in jail. But they’re not and guess what? I’m fine