My dad told me one that having a son means there only one penis you have to worry about but having a daughter means you have to worry about all the penis out there. Makes the laugh but ended up true.
The one I heard was that the problem with raising girls is the drama, the problem with raising boys is keeping them alive till their brains catch up with their bodies. 🤣
FWIW, It's called fetomaternal microchimerism which doesn't exactly roll of the tongue, and thus may be one of the reasons it's not a better-known occurrence!
I’m five months in, I’m a wreck.
But also fertility treatments, whether successful or not have a way of wearing you down both emotionally and physically
Out of all the medical issues out there, fertility treatments (as someone who’s never experienced them) sound both physically and mentally/emotionally tortorous IMO. Have a 'you got this' hi-five from an internet stranger, and good luck!!
Lack of sleep and then being constantly sick with some bug they dragged home from daycare or school because they all snot on everything and put it in their mouths are rough. But you do start to adapt and then it gets better as they get less nasty. I do miss COVID for one reason - the kids being separated some and especially being required to sanitize hands frequently meant I only got sick once in 1.5 years.
I’m an infectious disease epidemiologist, you have NO idea how hard I try to keep everyone else away from the baby! Lol. I heard someone coughing at the park YARDS AWAY and I panicked a little
When I had my newborn, when even close family tried to hold her I'd make them go wash their hands, properly, at a very minimum. Sometimes I'd require they put on a clean shirt, etc.
One thing that was nice about the pandemic — we really took a look at indoor air quality.
With the combination of fresh air exchanges and air filters, that has really reduced the severity and spreading of many of the communicable diseases.
People in the family still get sick. And it sucks. But we no longer have the issue of “whenever one is sick, everyone gets it”. And I feel that when we do get sick, it’s from a lower viral or whatever load in the air, which seems to mean that illnesses are more slow onset and mild when they do get transmitted.
My wife is sick right now with a cold. So we turn up the air filters and turn on the house fan to draw extra fresh air into the room when she’s around. But otherwise, we just go about our normal lives. Even if I do catch it at this point, she’ll have been recovered by then, and the disruption of a single person being sick is far lower than when multiple are sick at a time.
I've got twin 4 year olds and I'm a bone marrow and lung transplant patient (12 years and 9 years post), we've gotten pretty lucky until this year where I was sick for 3 months because of something I caught from them or their daycare. It's brutal tbh.
I can also empathise with fertility treatments, my partner had to go through them because of my medical history and they're really tough. We're still here though and still love them to bits as tough as it's been, you can do this.
I’m in the trenches of this right now with my preschooler. I’ve spent more time sick than I have not sick since school started. Holiday break brought a reprieve, but our household has been sick all over again this week and it always seems to hit me hardest.
I’m due with my second soon and legitimately concerned as to 1) how I’m going to manage if preschooler keeps bringing home an illness every other week and 2) how I’m going to keep a newborn safe with all this constant sickness.
Plus, we’re in the U.S. so it’s not like we have the breathing room of substantial parental leave, etc. 🫠
I promise your immune system will slowly improve. But... Not that much. I once had a newborn, 2yo, 4yo and 6yo at home. I survived... Mostly. But man, it really did suck quite badly for a bit.
The next big one in my experience is when you get them out of the bedroom and into their nursery. Suddenly you're sleeping without them grunting, kicking, sighing and stuff.
I'd assume so. Stress, inflammation, aging, all go hand in hand. Like how a recent study showed sleep apnea doesnt just effect the quality of life of the sufferer, but significantly impacts their partner's sleep as well.
The diagnosis or the disease? The disease should have been there all along so if it's the diagnosis specifically that is aging you... is he not taking it well?
As a lifelong suffer of this [choose your noun] I generally find the bigger battle lies with getting people to recognize that the phenomena exists and is not someone just being lazy/ tired/ looking for excuse/ etc.
‘Using historical data on women in Finland, researchers discovered that having five or more children—or no children at all—is associated with faster aging and shorter lifespans, compared with having one to four children’
Study participants were born between 1880 and 1957 when it was far less common to have no children by choice. Many cohort members without children probably got that way due to health problems, something that the study authors call out.
The paper itself analyzed data from 1974 onward, as stated by both the article and the abstract and body of the paper.
“Hukkanen and her colleagues analyzed data from the Finnish Twin Cohort, a project that has tracked the health of thousands of twin pairs since 1974. They separated 14,836 women from this cohort into six groups based on the number and timing of their childbirths (allowing them to compare genetically similar parents). Then, using lifespan data and blood samples showing aging-linked DNA changes, the researchers modeled how reproduction impacted the aging process of women in each group.”
Interesting. My family is Catholic (no birth control) so I know some large families. My cousins all said that a family of 4 children was best. More than 4 children was too competitive for time and resources.
These families had more than 4 children! They wished for smaller families.
Three of my four children are young adults now and two of them have had their own children. My husband and I see the babies pretty much daily. They come hang out with me while my husband and my sons do chores. We make supper together in the evenings. We put music on the “lekka” as my granddaughter calls her (Alexa). The baby sits in his bouncy seat and the older one stands up to the counter on her wooden stool and uses a butter knife to cut vegetables. When they finally go home and we clean up and get things settled, I feel like I can’t physically do more. But I’m very happy. It’s amazing how “exhausted” and “happy” can go hand-in-hand.
I've got three autistic teenagers, one of whom has been sectioned four times in three years. I turn 44 in a couple of months, but feel like I'm 20 years older by this point
Don’t think they really had sub groups of various degrees of “a village”. If you have extended family aid in childcare and parental burden vs none makes a difference. Would be nice to see how that influences things across 0-5^+ kids
"researchers discovered that having five or more children—or no children at all—is associated with faster aging and shorter lifespans, compared with having one to four children"
Having no children was also associated with aging faster?
Responsible-Room-645 | a day ago
My son turned out ok but his teenage years aged me about 20 years
im_a_dr_not_ | 23 hours ago
What did he do?
Responsible-Room-645 | 23 hours ago
Just teenager shit
buginmybeer24 | 18 hours ago
I'm going through this right now. If I hear "bruh" one more time I'm going to snap.
Responsible-Room-645 | 15 hours ago
They eventually smarten up; just stay the course (I’m sure you know that). When I was a teenager I used to tell my parents “get off my back man” 😂
buginmybeer24 | 11 hours ago
Every time my son annoys me I apologize to my parents because I realize I was a little shit too. 😂
Responsible-Room-645 | 11 hours ago
Yep
porkchop_d_clown | 22 hours ago
You should try having a teenaged daughter…
Cunnilingusobsessed | 11 hours ago
My dad told me one that having a son means there only one penis you have to worry about but having a daughter means you have to worry about all the penis out there. Makes the laugh but ended up true.
porkchop_d_clown | 8 hours ago
The one I heard was that the problem with raising girls is the drama, the problem with raising boys is keeping them alive till their brains catch up with their bodies. 🤣
Responsible-Room-645 | 22 hours ago
I think that would have doubled my aging
porkchop_d_clown | 22 hours ago
I had one of each. Now I have a cardiologist. 🙄🤣
Responsible-Room-645 | 22 hours ago
I salute you
rangeo | 17 hours ago
We days from 15....so far so good...am I being setup?
Responsible-Room-645 | 12 hours ago
I’ve heard that some go through it fine but don’t get lulled into a false sense of security 😂
porkchop_d_clown | 8 hours ago
Honestly, a lot will depend on her - it just seems that girls generate a lot more drama than boys.
therhz | 20 hours ago
why?
LosMorbidus | 17 hours ago
Dicks
DynastyZealot | a day ago
I didn't have kids until my late 40s and look over a decade younger than my peers.
dm80x86 | a day ago
It's been discovered that the baby will "leak" some stem cells into the mother's body.
ooohlalaahouioui | a day ago
Wait, is this factual?
Schatzin | 22 hours ago
Yes, those stem cells can even fix certain conditions in the mother. Its like the baby is fixing the factory its being made in, so it can be made
ooohlalaahouioui | 22 hours ago
This is amazing! Who woulda thought
temporalwanderer | 17 hours ago
FWIW, It's called fetomaternal microchimerism which doesn't exactly roll of the tongue, and thus may be one of the reasons it's not a better-known occurrence!
furiana | 3 hours ago
Fascinating. Thank you!
ooohlalaahouioui | a day ago
I’m five months in, I’m a wreck. But also fertility treatments, whether successful or not have a way of wearing you down both emotionally and physically
SumpthingHappening | a day ago
Out of all the medical issues out there, fertility treatments (as someone who’s never experienced them) sound both physically and mentally/emotionally tortorous IMO. Have a 'you got this' hi-five from an internet stranger, and good luck!!
ooohlalaahouioui | a day ago
😭 this literally made me cry. Thank you
CO420Tech | a day ago
Lack of sleep and then being constantly sick with some bug they dragged home from daycare or school because they all snot on everything and put it in their mouths are rough. But you do start to adapt and then it gets better as they get less nasty. I do miss COVID for one reason - the kids being separated some and especially being required to sanitize hands frequently meant I only got sick once in 1.5 years.
ooohlalaahouioui | a day ago
I’m an infectious disease epidemiologist, you have NO idea how hard I try to keep everyone else away from the baby! Lol. I heard someone coughing at the park YARDS AWAY and I panicked a little
CO420Tech | a day ago
When I had my newborn, when even close family tried to hold her I'd make them go wash their hands, properly, at a very minimum. Sometimes I'd require they put on a clean shirt, etc.
ooohlalaahouioui | a day ago
Wait, I do this too. Is this an unusual request for the average person? I thought it was just common sense and respect.
Don’t even mention someone kissing the baby!
CO420Tech | 23 hours ago
Many people do not do it and will pass their child freely, and many people are offended by it, but fuck them.
And yes, absolutely my rule was don't you dare put your nasty mouth on my baby. That also offended many people. Fuck them too.
ooohlalaahouioui | 23 hours ago
I love this for us! Go Team Moms!
CO420Tech | 22 hours ago
I'm a dad but right there with ya!
ooohlalaahouioui | 20 hours ago
Oh nooo, go team parents***
UntowardHatter | 17 hours ago
This is very unusual, yes. Very.
-zero-below- | 16 hours ago
One thing that was nice about the pandemic — we really took a look at indoor air quality.
With the combination of fresh air exchanges and air filters, that has really reduced the severity and spreading of many of the communicable diseases.
People in the family still get sick. And it sucks. But we no longer have the issue of “whenever one is sick, everyone gets it”. And I feel that when we do get sick, it’s from a lower viral or whatever load in the air, which seems to mean that illnesses are more slow onset and mild when they do get transmitted.
My wife is sick right now with a cold. So we turn up the air filters and turn on the house fan to draw extra fresh air into the room when she’s around. But otherwise, we just go about our normal lives. Even if I do catch it at this point, she’ll have been recovered by then, and the disruption of a single person being sick is far lower than when multiple are sick at a time.
TerayonIII | an hour ago
I've got twin 4 year olds and I'm a bone marrow and lung transplant patient (12 years and 9 years post), we've gotten pretty lucky until this year where I was sick for 3 months because of something I caught from them or their daycare. It's brutal tbh.
I can also empathise with fertility treatments, my partner had to go through them because of my medical history and they're really tough. We're still here though and still love them to bits as tough as it's been, you can do this.
cosmicexplorer | 17 hours ago
I’m in the trenches of this right now with my preschooler. I’ve spent more time sick than I have not sick since school started. Holiday break brought a reprieve, but our household has been sick all over again this week and it always seems to hit me hardest.
I’m due with my second soon and legitimately concerned as to 1) how I’m going to manage if preschooler keeps bringing home an illness every other week and 2) how I’m going to keep a newborn safe with all this constant sickness.
Plus, we’re in the U.S. so it’s not like we have the breathing room of substantial parental leave, etc. 🫠
CO420Tech | 6 hours ago
I promise your immune system will slowly improve. But... Not that much. I once had a newborn, 2yo, 4yo and 6yo at home. I survived... Mostly. But man, it really did suck quite badly for a bit.
cosmicexplorer | 2 hours ago
Phew, I can only imagine. I really hope my immune system (and all of ours) does strengthen some. This first year of preschool has been so rough.
nada8 | 5 hours ago
Covid is not finished …..
doogihowser | a day ago
Hang in there! Once they start sleeping through the night it gets much better!
Too-Much-Plastic | a day ago
The next big one in my experience is when you get them out of the bedroom and into their nursery. Suddenly you're sleeping without them grunting, kicking, sighing and stuff.
swimming_in_agates | a day ago
And then they get older and stop sleeping through the night and in their own bed 💀
SumpthingHappening | a day ago
My husband and his late life ADHD diagnosis have aged me more than my kids ever will. I would love to see a study on that.
dispose135 | a day ago
Are they linked
SumpthingHappening | a day ago
I'd assume so. Stress, inflammation, aging, all go hand in hand. Like how a recent study showed sleep apnea doesnt just effect the quality of life of the sufferer, but significantly impacts their partner's sleep as well.
candnemia | 11 hours ago
I feel this in my bones.
askingforafakefriend | 21 hours ago
The diagnosis or the disease? The disease should have been there all along so if it's the diagnosis specifically that is aging you... is he not taking it well?
_psykovsky_ | 12 hours ago
It’s not a disease it’s a neurodevelopmental disorder, a different formation of the brain, but the rest of your point still stands
askingforafakefriend | 8 hours ago
As a lifelong suffer of this [choose your noun] I generally find the bigger battle lies with getting people to recognize that the phenomena exists and is not someone just being lazy/ tired/ looking for excuse/ etc.
Aggressive_Sky8492 | 16 hours ago
Hey so.. that’s fucked up actually :(
Forward-Release5033 | a day ago
Every person I know aged at least 5 years after getting kids. I’m good without any thanks 🤣
JumpingGoats | a day ago
Well you should have read the article lol
‘Using historical data on women in Finland, researchers discovered that having five or more children—or no children at all—is associated with faster aging and shorter lifespans, compared with having one to four children’
eliminate1337 | a day ago
Study participants were born between 1880 and 1957 when it was far less common to have no children by choice. Many cohort members without children probably got that way due to health problems, something that the study authors call out.
Archonrouge | a day ago
Huh. There's also some significant events right in the center of that time period. Events that played a significant role in people aging more quickly.
Glum-Birthday-1496 | 23 hours ago
The paper itself analyzed data from 1974 onward, as stated by both the article and the abstract and body of the paper.
“Hukkanen and her colleagues analyzed data from the Finnish Twin Cohort, a project that has tracked the health of thousands of twin pairs since 1974. They separated 14,836 women from this cohort into six groups based on the number and timing of their childbirths (allowing them to compare genetically similar parents). Then, using lifespan data and blood samples showing aging-linked DNA changes, the researchers modeled how reproduction impacted the aging process of women in each group.”
[Deleted] | 18 hours ago
Interesting. My family is Catholic (no birth control) so I know some large families. My cousins all said that a family of 4 children was best. More than 4 children was too competitive for time and resources.
These families had more than 4 children! They wished for smaller families.
Forward-Release5033 | a day ago
My personal data tells me having no children is way to go but sure.
Physical_Dentist2284 | 22 hours ago
Three of my four children are young adults now and two of them have had their own children. My husband and I see the babies pretty much daily. They come hang out with me while my husband and my sons do chores. We make supper together in the evenings. We put music on the “lekka” as my granddaughter calls her (Alexa). The baby sits in his bouncy seat and the older one stands up to the counter on her wooden stool and uses a butter knife to cut vegetables. When they finally go home and we clean up and get things settled, I feel like I can’t physically do more. But I’m very happy. It’s amazing how “exhausted” and “happy” can go hand-in-hand.
poo-brain-train | 20 hours ago
That sounds absolutely lovely.
_psykovsky_ | 12 hours ago
I’m pretty sure that my partner and I aged a few decades within the first couple years of having a disabled child with high support needs
unbelievablydull82 | 15 hours ago
I've got three autistic teenagers, one of whom has been sectioned four times in three years. I turn 44 in a couple of months, but feel like I'm 20 years older by this point
Conscious-Donut | 20 hours ago
Faster or slower? Crazy
wwplkyih | 23 hours ago
There was a set of identical triplets on Floor Is Lava and the only one who was a father was visibly more aged, even more hair loss.
vivikush | 11 hours ago
This study is about women.
Urabrask_the_AFK | 20 hours ago
Don’t think they really had sub groups of various degrees of “a village”. If you have extended family aid in childcare and parental burden vs none makes a difference. Would be nice to see how that influences things across 0-5^+ kids
Turbulent-Cress-5367 | 16 hours ago
Paywall :(
Able-Passenger1066 | 12 hours ago
I heard
furiana | 3 hours ago
"researchers discovered that having five or more children—or no children at all—is associated with faster aging and shorter lifespans, compared with having one to four children"
Having no children was also associated with aging faster?