Can Cruising Survive Influencers? Public sex has never been more out in the open. Whether that’s a good thing is up for debate.

165 points by raphaellaskies 2 months ago on reddit | 44 comments

julianfri | 2 months ago

The strangest part is the very end. I don’t want to give it away but all that for a slap on the wrist? What’s the purpose just humiliation?

Stickning | 2 months ago

Humiliation, and possibly scooping up unsuspecting immigrants.

CursedNobleman | 2 months ago

Fuck the Police. Fuck ICE. And fuck the Trump Admin.

petered79 | 2 months ago

let's put them all together in a public restroom and close it for eternity

VirtueSignalLost | 2 months ago

Very profound

CursedNobleman | 2 months ago

I used parallel structure because I'm sophisticated.

letthetreeburn | 2 months ago

Cruelty for the sake of cruelty is the current ruling of this administration. Leo’s have been harassing queer people whether the law can back it up or not forever.

Cops are what happens to highschool bullies who aren’t competent enough to become nurses.

zardozLateFee | 2 months ago

Yes.

atropax | 2 months ago

Do deter people from cruising there, I guess. Even if you know lots of people got their charges dismissed, you don't wanna go through the ordeal of potentially being arrested.

bluespringsbeer | 2 months ago

I would have to guess, that the real purpose is to cut down on the number of complaints about loud sex in the bathroom, while not actually hurting them too much. That angle is never addressed. If 200 men were arrested in a sting in one bathroom, the situation was out of control. And I consider myself sympathetic to the cruisers.

cthulhuhentai | 2 months ago

read the article again: many of the men were just there and "looked gay" or were immigrants that got pushed to ICE. Not all of them were cruising.

cosmos_crown | 2 months ago

Helluva first line.

mkmast21 | 2 months ago

Helluva last line too

heathers-damage | 2 months ago

I cannot believe we have to tell people to not post online about the illegal shit they are doing. Like anyone can watch a tiktok, including the cops!

Especially around queer shit in 2025 America jfc.

misspcv1996 | 2 months ago

I genuinely wonder if social media has just warped people’s brains in some profound way, to the point that they’re hardly able to help themselves.

heathers-damage | 2 months ago

I think for younger folks, who grew up with everything about their lives online in mostly censored spaces like socal media, the idea of not putting something online because the cops may show up and ruin the cruising spot won’t cross their minds.

Like only other gay men knowing about the crusing spots means folks can still cruise there and the cops have to work harder to arrest folks. Cishst people don’t need to know that place is the park or that bathroom is the spot either!

I wish web 2.0 level of online misdirection/lying was more common.

misspcv1996 | 2 months ago

Another thing is that a lot of younger gay men have only lived in a time where being openly gay was mostly acceptable and they never learned the level of secrecy and discretion that older generations had to. This can definitely be taken as a positive sign, but none of the older generation of gay men I know would dream of publicly advertising the location of a tea room, especially in this political climate.

[OP] raphaellaskies | 2 months ago

Bypass paywall: https://archive.is/GDMv3

kittenpantzen | 2 months ago

Ohhh.. That cruising. I was very confused when I read the headline.

smellslikebadussy | 2 months ago

This article isn't about the Nintendo 64 classic Cruis'n USA?

freshcanoe | 2 months ago

I was so so confused for several paragraphs

Greedy-Assistance109 | 2 months ago

i get the appeal of public sex/risk/degradation and i dont doubt the cops are doing overly broad sweeps but i cannot imagine trying to defend public sex in penn station lmao. if i got caught cruising there i’d be like ya ok arrest me i deserve it. homeless people die on the floor in there. abandon hope all ye who enter here. you are getting a handjob from someone who lives in secaucus. secaucus!!! like be so fr

sirgawain2 | 2 months ago

I think the cops are being nasty, especially since it seems they’re seeking out immigrants in particular. But I don’t think there’s a right to public sex, especially when hookup apps exist.

throw20190820202020 | 2 months ago

I really don’t think there is anything sacred about people looking to bone in public, regardless of their gender or orientation or anything.

I actually thought this sort of thing was done in seedier, targeted places, but Penn Station? A Macy’s dressing room? People work in these places and shouldn’t have to clean up after sexual activity, not to mention oh, I’m sorry, I guess I’m a prude, little kids also use these facilities. Your eight year old kid is like “I’m a big boy now, let me use the bathroom by myself”.

I imagine (hope) they stop and wait when others, including children, come in, but forcing strangers to be a part of your kink is gross. And it’s not 1800 or 1950 when people couldn’t find partners through traditional means. The whole excuse boils down to “it’s more fun”.

zoltree | 2 months ago

High-“visability”

more_akimbo | 2 months ago

The #1 thing about exercising your kinks is that everyone involved explicitly consents to what you’re doing. When you engage in public sex you are forcing people who have not consented to participate. There is literally no excuse for this or the apologetic tone this article takes on the matter.

There are plenty of places where you can go and be watched where it’s explicitly part of the deal. With all the apps there is no need to wag your dick at a stranger in a public place anymore.

cthulhuhentai | 2 months ago

No one really flashes their dick randomly, certainly not to randoms, there's an entire process of signals and communication in cruising culture before escalating. Misrepresenting it as people flashing random bystanders without thought shows you don't really understand cruising or why it happens.

more_akimbo | 2 months ago

Uh huh. And after these “signals” what happens next?

cthulhuhentai | 2 months ago

the undercover cop in the article pretended to stroke his penis, stared, and pretended to look over the barrier. Specifically in a known cruising spot. Tell me, is someone who does all that to you just a random & unsuspecting bystander who doesn't understand what's going to happen next?

more_akimbo | 2 months ago

“A known cruising spot”? It was a public restroom, for people to use the bathroom. If that hadn’t been a cop, what would those two have gotten up to then?

cthulhuhentai | 2 months ago

if the other person hadn't stared, peeked, lingered, and stroked like the cop then literally nothing would have happened and everyone would have gone about their day. These signals act as nods of consent, so your notion that people are wagging their dicks at unconsenting randos is just so far from the truth.

more_akimbo | 2 months ago

So. If this had been a well meaning man looking for a hook up, what would have happened next? You still won’t answer that.

There are two issues: one is entrapping men at a bathroom. I think this is dubious and the cops should have more pressing people. The second is sex in public which I’m am against and if you get caught doing it, then that is on you.

atropax | 2 months ago

I don't think you understand what cruising is. Did you read the article? The point of cruising isn't to have people watch. It's a way to casually and spontaneously hook up with people.

more_akimbo | 2 months ago

In public, hook up with people in public. If these dudes were just going to “meet” in the bathroom in the busiest train station in the country and go off somewhere else, nbd.

And I lived in SF for a long time and am a gym goer so yes I completely understand what cruising is.

Bright_Ices | 2 months ago

Tell that to the cop.

rentingsoundsgreat | 2 months ago

some of these comments are extremely cop-brained

linzfire | 2 months ago

Go have sex in a non-public place.

qwaszxpolkmn123987 | 2 months ago

I think prostitution should be legal, and I generally think nudity is a bullshit “crime.” I also don’t give a shit who you’re attracted to or who you marry. But if some dude pulled his dick out in a unisex bathroom and showed it to a woman who gave him a look and/or appeared to be interested, would we have lawmakers defending him? Feel like I’m reading an Onion article.

cthulhuhentai | 2 months ago

cruising is not sharing 1 look before you starting going at it. The undercover cop in the article already pretended to be masturbating and held eye contact/tried to look over the barrier.

atropax | 2 months ago

a) That's not what happened - it wasn't just a look, it was signals that are part of a culture - the cop was literally rubbing himself and looking over the barrier.

b) The straight version sounds jarring because there's no culture for straight people of casual hookups, so it's far more likely he was just sexually harassing her.

There's a reason we don't hear lots of stories from straight men who got flashed in bathrooms - that's not what cruising is

Bright_Ices | 2 months ago

Wtf else is a guy supposed to do at a urinal besides pull his dick out. Where’s your vitriol for the hot bait cop who started the entire interaction by having his own dick out?

pandaslovetigers | 2 months ago

If you did read it, reading is really not your thing.