What a depressing article. All that money and zero thought of using it to help others. Or, hell, he could keep his money and use the second half of his day where he complains about being so lonely, instead of watching the Office again or texting with OnlyFans subcontractors, dude could volunteer. Doesn't even have to be with people! He likes animals, go help out your local shelter!
>He’s had guys who message him through OnlyFans every day for over two years, guys who tell him they’ve just put their kids to bed, that their wives are in the other room. Sometimes he feels bad for them; knows they’re probably lonely and sad. But that’s the game, right?
This reminds me of my ex. He would regularly get offered like 3k for non-sexual stuff. I think what added to the fantasy is that he is straight. He showed me the messages he got from men and some women. Shit was wild. Straight up insane to me the money people drop without their spouses knowing which makes me think its an addiction. He used to get panic attacks. When he would call me you could hear it in his voice that it was wrecking his view of people.
As a woman who’s dealt with similar I feel him, the sheer amount of married or partnered men who have hit on me, repeatedly, the fact that I’ve managed zero male friends who don’t eventually get moon eyed talking about how much they “love me” along with a string of very pissed off lesbians who I never realise are hitting on me, I mean, it makes you start to question everyone around you and their motives.
When most people throw themselves at you it makes you start to question the worlds morals and ethics, it can make you distrustful, and it hurts because what if (almost) everyone you have ever known was just being nice to you because they wanted you?
I love animals for this reason!!
My ex partner was the same and I’d come back from the bathroom at a restaurant to girls sitting on my seat, or have women and men trying to ask him out while I was right there.
My current partner is the same as well but unlike my ex is very aware of what’s going on and only has eyes for me, he’s had a very similar life experience with professors, other men and boys, women all throwing themselves at him sometimes in stalker ish creepy ways.
Being attractive is a blessing and a curse.
The amount of times I’ve been told “I love you” when the person doesn’t even know me is astounding. And it might sound like such a dumb thing to complain about but it certainly leaves you feeling hollow.
Yeah, the most attractive men definitely get a type of predatory attention that is very extreme. That’s why I have to laugh when men’s rights guys are like “it would be nice if I could get flown out to Dubai like a woman!” Or “it would be nice if people would send me drinks at a restaurant!” And it’s… well, yeah, that does happen to men too. You’d just have to be way hotter and hit the gym and have a 9/10 face card. But anyway… yeah I think it can be particularly uncomfortable in a different way than it is for women
Hmm, you do have a point. It's very "poor me I'm so rich and having so many subs that I'm depressed. But again, look at how rich and sexually powerful I am! But I'm also so depressed that I'm looking for an emotional connection". Um, this is straight out of a smut novel, people! This is the plot of 50 Shades.
Our man almost seems autistic -- with his addiction to routine, and not getting excited at the prospect of sex (article points out that "I don’t go to bed like, Ugh, I wish I could’ve fucked someone today,” he told me. “It’s more like, Damn, a hug would be nice.”).
Weird to me that you're getting down voted. FWIW, literally 100% of the sex workers I know IRL are neurodivergent - although that may say as much about my social circle as about the sex work industry.
I’m from a small town and ran with a checkered crowd in my youth lol. I know several people who became sex workers. They’re not neurodivergent as far as I know, but they’re all “different” in some way. Several are also sadly drug addicted.
Good news! Neurodivergence makes you way more susceptible to addiction! I have adhd and am autistic and I escaped with just a shopping addiction, but substance abuse is common, especially to help with masking and coping with feeling like an alien.
This hit home, lol. I have severe adhd and I have suffered with substance abuse issues in the last few years; alcohol, drugs. Not to mention what I know is an internet addiction, much as I tend to minimise it.
Neurodivergent comedienne Fern Brady was previously a stripper, and said in her great autobiography (Strong Female Character) that it was the only job she was able to manage at that time, as it allowed her independence and had less interpersonal requirements.
Which is a valid point because if a person truly believes that to be a salient detail in framing their life story, it would be worthwhile to get a formal and legitimate diagnosis.
> He was blunt with his questions: How do you not want to kill yourself from having nothing to do all day and no one to hang out with? The answers CJ gets when he asks these questions never satisfy him. Some people say you just pour yourself more and more into work. Some people say you find something that gives you meaning outside of work. The answer that scares CJ most is that it never really changes. That you always kinda want to kill yourself, and that you just find things to distract yourself with, until you die.
Is this guy not aware that some people have actually never once thought about killing themselves, even though they don’t own McLarens?
emilygoldfinch410 | 13 hours ago
What a depressing article. All that money and zero thought of using it to help others. Or, hell, he could keep his money and use the second half of his day where he complains about being so lonely, instead of watching the Office again or texting with OnlyFans subcontractors, dude could volunteer. Doesn't even have to be with people! He likes animals, go help out your local shelter!
[OP] Informal_Fennel_9150 | 12 hours ago
I think he is very depressed.
Worlds_tipping1 | 10 hours ago
I'd say so.
The tone of the article certainly reinforced the image of blandness.
Dude needs to find some cause close to his heart and stop having sex with dolls for money.
manolosandmartinis44 | 13 hours ago
https://archive.is/8GUGA if anyone (else) is caught by the paywall.
turtlekissinglips | 13 hours ago
>He’s had guys who message him through OnlyFans every day for over two years, guys who tell him they’ve just put their kids to bed, that their wives are in the other room. Sometimes he feels bad for them; knows they’re probably lonely and sad. But that’s the game, right?
This reminds me of my ex. He would regularly get offered like 3k for non-sexual stuff. I think what added to the fantasy is that he is straight. He showed me the messages he got from men and some women. Shit was wild. Straight up insane to me the money people drop without their spouses knowing which makes me think its an addiction. He used to get panic attacks. When he would call me you could hear it in his voice that it was wrecking his view of people.
Healthy_Set_1034 | 11 hours ago
sounds like a lot of emotional weight
bumbumboleji | 10 hours ago
As a woman who’s dealt with similar I feel him, the sheer amount of married or partnered men who have hit on me, repeatedly, the fact that I’ve managed zero male friends who don’t eventually get moon eyed talking about how much they “love me” along with a string of very pissed off lesbians who I never realise are hitting on me, I mean, it makes you start to question everyone around you and their motives.
When most people throw themselves at you it makes you start to question the worlds morals and ethics, it can make you distrustful, and it hurts because what if (almost) everyone you have ever known was just being nice to you because they wanted you?
I love animals for this reason!!
My ex partner was the same and I’d come back from the bathroom at a restaurant to girls sitting on my seat, or have women and men trying to ask him out while I was right there.
My current partner is the same as well but unlike my ex is very aware of what’s going on and only has eyes for me, he’s had a very similar life experience with professors, other men and boys, women all throwing themselves at him sometimes in stalker ish creepy ways.
Being attractive is a blessing and a curse.
The amount of times I’ve been told “I love you” when the person doesn’t even know me is astounding. And it might sound like such a dumb thing to complain about but it certainly leaves you feeling hollow.
storemans | 10 hours ago
that's an interesting perspective, thank you
greenfrog72 | 2 hours ago
Yeah, the most attractive men definitely get a type of predatory attention that is very extreme. That’s why I have to laugh when men’s rights guys are like “it would be nice if I could get flown out to Dubai like a woman!” Or “it would be nice if people would send me drinks at a restaurant!” And it’s… well, yeah, that does happen to men too. You’d just have to be way hotter and hit the gym and have a 9/10 face card. But anyway… yeah I think it can be particularly uncomfortable in a different way than it is for women
mossgoblin | 11 hours ago
This is just extended marketing, yall know that right.
wrecklessdriver | 9 hours ago
Dear GQ,
I never thought it would happen to me...
Lalala8991 | 10 hours ago
Hmm, you do have a point. It's very "poor me I'm so rich and having so many subs that I'm depressed. But again, look at how rich and sexually powerful I am! But I'm also so depressed that I'm looking for an emotional connection". Um, this is straight out of a smut novel, people! This is the plot of 50 Shades.
manolosandmartinis44 | 13 hours ago
Our man almost seems autistic -- with his addiction to routine, and not getting excited at the prospect of sex (article points out that "I don’t go to bed like, Ugh, I wish I could’ve fucked someone today,” he told me. “It’s more like, Damn, a hug would be nice.”).
krebstar4ever | 12 hours ago
The context of that quote is, "CJ isn’t really looking for sex without emotional connection right now."
BitterIrony1891 | 13 hours ago
Weird to me that you're getting down voted. FWIW, literally 100% of the sex workers I know IRL are neurodivergent - although that may say as much about my social circle as about the sex work industry.
cakeit-tilyoumakeit | 13 hours ago
I’m from a small town and ran with a checkered crowd in my youth lol. I know several people who became sex workers. They’re not neurodivergent as far as I know, but they’re all “different” in some way. Several are also sadly drug addicted.
justalittlestupid | 10 hours ago
Good news! Neurodivergence makes you way more susceptible to addiction! I have adhd and am autistic and I escaped with just a shopping addiction, but substance abuse is common, especially to help with masking and coping with feeling like an alien.
Key_Gap9168 | 2 hours ago
This hit home, lol. I have severe adhd and I have suffered with substance abuse issues in the last few years; alcohol, drugs. Not to mention what I know is an internet addiction, much as I tend to minimise it.
manolosandmartinis44 | 13 hours ago
Redditors going to reddit, mate.
TheGreatCthulhu | an hour ago
Neurodivergent comedienne Fern Brady was previously a stripper, and said in her great autobiography (Strong Female Character) that it was the only job she was able to manage at that time, as it allowed her independence and had less interpersonal requirements.
GlassHalfDecaf | 12 hours ago
They did mention in the article that a doctor suspected he has asbergers
manolosandmartinis44 | 12 hours ago
> asbergers
Which, as of the latest DSM, isn't a extant diagnosis.
damagazelle | 12 hours ago
Which is a valid point because if a person truly believes that to be a salient detail in framing their life story, it would be worthwhile to get a formal and legitimate diagnosis.
Key_Gap9168 | 2 hours ago
It's an old-fashioned way of understanding autism.
TheGreatCthulhu | an hour ago
Aspergers isn't but maybe asbergers is a new thing.
xbhaskarx | 7 hours ago
> He was blunt with his questions: How do you not want to kill yourself from having nothing to do all day and no one to hang out with? The answers CJ gets when he asks these questions never satisfy him. Some people say you just pour yourself more and more into work. Some people say you find something that gives you meaning outside of work. The answer that scares CJ most is that it never really changes. That you always kinda want to kill yourself, and that you just find things to distract yourself with, until you die.
Is this guy not aware that some people have actually never once thought about killing themselves, even though they don’t own McLarens?
Wild-Mushroom2404 | 3 hours ago
When you’re in a dark place, you genuinely can’t wrap your head around that idea though
krebstar4ever | 13 hours ago
>Recently, a doctor told him he might have Asperger’s.
A time traveling doctor from 30 years ago?
Kachimushi | 12 hours ago
Some doctors are just behind the times. I also had a psychiatrist refer to Asperger's just a couple years ago.
Dense-Result509 | 11 hours ago
13 years ago, not 30.
krebstar4ever | 11 hours ago
I wasn't trying to pinpoint the year when it changed.
Edit: I was just trying to get within the time range of when that was a valid diagnosis. I don't see what's wrong with that.