The UK grooming gang scandal, R. Kelly, the Epstein files. All showing a repeated pattern whereby children (usually girls) are forced into a level of agency that blames them for their own abuse, whilst the adult men that abuse them are given endless grace.
“ Her book describes the devastating steady drip of the grooming process, and Kelly’s voice in her ear. It started with a hug that was just “a little too long and a little too tight”. They would have rambling phone calls, Landfair in her teenage bedroom, surrounded by sports trophies.
At first, it was innocent chatter – music, school, basketball – then, down the line, he began to ask what she was wearing. Then he’d tell her to touch herself.
Over many months, Kelly convinced her that they had a special bond, an incredible, once-in-a-lifetime connection, and that he was risking everything for the two of them.”
This is grooming. This how it is done.
Every time I hear a word misused and divorced from reality - particularly by politicians - it makes me want to smack them with a dictionary. Preferably one of the big thick ones from the 1800s.
When I read, “a hug that was just “a little too long and a little too tight”, I got chills. It’s like my body remembered this happening so many times when I was young. I know many of us will.
ReShona is very brave to be speaking out now. She understands she can heal and also help others with her experience. I hope she finds a peaceful life.
I apologize. I’ve worked off and on with various professional groups that deal with this, and the chills and nausea never change. And I hate that it might trigger somebody like yourself, but when people don’t understand what grooming really is and what it really looks like it just keeps going.
I do hope you have found your peace because it wasn’t your fault and you didn’t do anything wrong.
So sad and far too common. That R Kelly was acquitted at first despite a video tell us all we need to know about the state of our society then and now.
“ It took six years for the sex tape to reach trial in 2008 – there seemed no urgency about it from the authorities.
Landfair knows now that the entire 26min 30sec video was played for everyone in the courtroom, not just the jury. She knows people snickered.
“I do feel like race played a big part in the trial and the way I was handled in public,” she says, then stops, and quietly fights back tears. “I get chills when I think about it.” Another pause. “If it had been a caucasian girl this happened to, especially by a black man, I’d have been treated more like a victim, I’d have felt more supported. Instead, the only support I felt was from Robert’s side.
I’m not here to play the race card, but it’s a reality. Black girls growing up, we’re considered to be ‘fast’. If we’re victimised, it’s more our fault. If things happen, we’re blamed.””
The idea that men have absolutely no control over their desires would be laughable if it weren’t prevalent in so many cultures.
[OP] No-Advantage-579 | 11 hours ago
There is so much in this article that my mind can't comprehend. Like the "he had me live in a cubicle in his parked tour bus" bit.
It describes grooming - and grooming an entire family at that - very very well though.
anb0603 | 10 hours ago
The picture of her performing at 14 messed me up. Such an obvious, clear photo of a child
[OP] No-Advantage-579 | 10 hours ago
OMG! Absolutely! And to think that her parents lied at R Kelly's trial!
slainascully | 8 hours ago
The UK grooming gang scandal, R. Kelly, the Epstein files. All showing a repeated pattern whereby children (usually girls) are forced into a level of agency that blames them for their own abuse, whilst the adult men that abuse them are given endless grace.
fupapack | 7 hours ago
I'm not sure what editorial standards they use but describing CSAM as a sex tape made me ill.
[OP] No-Advantage-579 | 7 hours ago
I get your point - it was filmed child rape - but it was consistently described as "sex tape" in all media at the time.
See also Macklemore's "Thrift Shop". It was sadly a joke for many.
fupapack | 6 hours ago
At the time yes, but the article was written last week. The article isn't from 2008 or even 2021.
[OP] No-Advantage-579 | 4 hours ago
Agreed.
horseradishstalker | 3 hours ago
“ Her book describes the devastating steady drip of the grooming process, and Kelly’s voice in her ear. It started with a hug that was just “a little too long and a little too tight”. They would have rambling phone calls, Landfair in her teenage bedroom, surrounded by sports trophies.
At first, it was innocent chatter – music, school, basketball – then, down the line, he began to ask what she was wearing. Then he’d tell her to touch herself.
Over many months, Kelly convinced her that they had a special bond, an incredible, once-in-a-lifetime connection, and that he was risking everything for the two of them.”
This is grooming. This how it is done. Every time I hear a word misused and divorced from reality - particularly by politicians - it makes me want to smack them with a dictionary. Preferably one of the big thick ones from the 1800s.
scarletmagnolia | an hour ago
When I read, “a hug that was just “a little too long and a little too tight”, I got chills. It’s like my body remembered this happening so many times when I was young. I know many of us will.
ReShona is very brave to be speaking out now. She understands she can heal and also help others with her experience. I hope she finds a peaceful life.
horseradishstalker | an hour ago
I apologize. I’ve worked off and on with various professional groups that deal with this, and the chills and nausea never change. And I hate that it might trigger somebody like yourself, but when people don’t understand what grooming really is and what it really looks like it just keeps going.
I do hope you have found your peace because it wasn’t your fault and you didn’t do anything wrong.
Ancient-Practice-431 | 4 hours ago
So sad and far too common. That R Kelly was acquitted at first despite a video tell us all we need to know about the state of our society then and now.
horseradishstalker | 3 hours ago
“ It took six years for the sex tape to reach trial in 2008 – there seemed no urgency about it from the authorities.
Landfair knows now that the entire 26min 30sec video was played for everyone in the courtroom, not just the jury. She knows people snickered.
“I do feel like race played a big part in the trial and the way I was handled in public,” she says, then stops, and quietly fights back tears. “I get chills when I think about it.” Another pause. “If it had been a caucasian girl this happened to, especially by a black man, I’d have been treated more like a victim, I’d have felt more supported. Instead, the only support I felt was from Robert’s side.
I’m not here to play the race card, but it’s a reality. Black girls growing up, we’re considered to be ‘fast’. If we’re victimised, it’s more our fault. If things happen, we’re blamed.””
The idea that men have absolutely no control over their desires would be laughable if it weren’t prevalent in so many cultures.