I have a smaller member myself, and the way I've always looked at it is simple: I can spend my life wishing I had something different, or I can make the most of what I have. I'd rather focus on the things I can actually control. And frankly, I'd rather be having sex with what I have than not having sex because I'm busy worrying about what I don't.
I've never felt like a partner was let down by my performance because of my size. The reality is that skill, confidence, communication, attentiveness, and experience matter far more than measurements. People online tend to treat size as if it's the single most important factor in sex, but that has never matched my real-world experience.
Sure, people have preferences, but being a good lover is a skill. Like any other skill, you can learn it, improve it, and get better at it. I'd much rather be someone who knows what they're doing than spend my time obsessing over something I can't change.
At some point you stop worrying about what you don't have and start making the most of what you do have. In my experience, that's what actually matters.
I've also found that a surprising number of women have told me that larger isn't necessarily better. A lot of guys who are naturally gifted in that department seem to assume that's all they need to bring to the table. Meanwhile, those of us who don't have that advantage tend to put more effort into actually learning what our partners enjoy and creating a good experience. Whether that's universally true or not, I've found that skill and effort consistently matter more than size ever has.
I appreciate that my partner also has your mentality about such things. He's the only man to ever make me actually cum from oral ... So there's that as well.
Additionally, I now have endometriosis, which includes some not so fun internal sexual changes to my body, and frankly I'm quite glad I don't need to worry about him hurting me. I've been accidentally hurt by partners in my past. The more modest size makes me more apt to enjoy giving oral to him because I can really work on my technique. (I actually perfected a technique specifically for his member, which helped enhance our intimacy and relationship, I feel.)
I think that's been my experience too. A lot of guys seem to assume size is a substitute for effort, attention, or actually learning what their partner enjoys. The irony is that those things matter far more than whatever number they're obsessing over.
One advantage of being less endowed is that you learn pretty quickly that enthusiasm, communication, and technique are what actually make someone happy. Most women I've talked to care a lot more about feeling comfortable, desired, and understood than they do about some imaginary ideal. Your comment about developing techniques that worked specifically for your partner is a great example of that. That's the kind of thing that builds intimacy.
Of course, I may be biased, but I like to think those of us on the more modest end of the spectrum tend to become better students of the subject.
Absolutely. Honestly the whole size thing is more of a guy thing than a woman’s. Women might talk about size, but it’s usually just locker room talk type of stuff. Not serious at all.
I think that's largely true. Most of the obsession with size seems to come from men comparing themselves to other men, not from women making relationship decisions based on it. And what does it say about those men who are so obsessive about other men's members? I'd rather focus on women if I'm being honest.
In my experience, women generally care a lot more about whether a guy is attentive, communicative, and actually interested in their pleasure. Size gets talked about because it's easy to joke about or because it's an obvious physical trait, but once you're talking about long-term relationships and actual sexual satisfaction, it's usually pretty far down the list.
Size isn't even all that. There are dudes out there who are well above average who are premature ejaculators... so I mean, average with good hang-time beats that hands down.
I've slept with a guy with a genuinely enormous penis. It fucking hurt, it limited sex so much and he said to me that every guy wants a huge penis but it's not as fun when you can't necessarily do anything with it. He was such a lovely guy and I really felt for him. It didn't work out between us for other reasons not related to his penis.
I also happen to be bisexual and the weirdest and most consistent comments about it I've gotten from a subset of men are asking about dildos and how sex works without a penis, because they cannot fathom how to have sex without centering the penis. Obviously it's not all men who think like that but I think there is a depressing amount of guys who have been told that all that matters is having a huge penis and then are depressed and anxious because they have an average or below average sized penis.
As you say - learn to love your body no matter the size, and learn how to please women in other ways (most women don't even cum from penetrative sex) and you'll not only be happier but your partners will be way happier than if you had a big dick and expected that to do all the work.
To be fair, there are many lesbians not interested at all in penetration while some do (theres fisting for a reason). Same w straight women. I personally wouldnt be ok with only fingers or a penis of comparable size🤷🏻♀️.
>When I asked Clavicular recently how he felt about his own penis — he’s been open that he’s only average — he said that “in terms of maintaining a relationship with women, it’s a huge factor. But a girl who’s been run through is going to need a lot more to work with.”
God, this is so disgusting. Women don't get "run through" and loose from larger penises. Barf.
Agreed, and then I had to laugh about the subsequent paragraphs being about how it’s so unacceptable to say mean things about women but talking about penis size is still acceptable. 🙄.
> It’s true that in polite society, a group of men sitting around sharing their girlfriends’ tit pix and talking openly about women’s bodies would be, at the very least, frowned upon, but women still have free rein on men’s bodies. “In the past, people would make fun of women. “She’s a dog. She’s a cow. She’s an old maid,’” said Snyder, the sex therapist. “Now, that’s socially unacceptable. But it’s regarded as perfectly fine to ridicule a man.”
i wonder what society he lives in, because sure there are people talking about how objectification/sexualisation was wrong, however it doesn't really reflect the reality (not to mention that women have always talked about this)—men still frequently comment on women's bodies both online and irl, if it was socially as unacceptable as he claims, he wouldn't have a looksmaxxing influencer talking about how women are run through
Right- same thing with something like racism, for example. Plenty of people know it's generally wrong (not everyone of course, but digress), but just look around online... plenty of racist stuff happening all around.
And, like, I'm not particularly conventionally attractive. I get it that it feels super crummy to be outside of what's "normal". But holy smokes, at some point you have to get over it and live your life!
As a heterosexual man, it's frustrating to me how dick-centric so much of male sexuality is presented. Porn puts a ridiculous emphasis on size, we have idiotic phrases like "big dick energy" or "he's obviously compensating for something" and shit like that to make sure men feel like size is the most important thing. And it's almost always men making those jokes and making that porn. We're doing it to each other for no good reason and it drives me nuts.
Male sexuality has this amazing ability to be so much more, just like female sexuality is far more than breast size or waist-hip ratio or whatever bullshit is peddled at the moment.
“Then there’s No Kizzy Krazy, an influencer on Instagram who regularly racks up hundreds of thousands of views for her man-on-the-street interviews, where she grabs random mens’ crotches and guesses their inch count.”
Jesus. How has this person not been arrested? That’s horrible.
You should watch the videos and you'll understand why. They consistent of her asking questions about "what size are you" in a context that is clearly about penis length, then she asks "can i feel it?" and the person responds "yes" before a "pop up" appears saying you can view the uncensored version where she guesses the inch count on her Patreon.
Absent the part where it's almost certainly all staged click bait, I'm not sure why you would get arrested for doing something you've asked the other person permission for prior to doing it.
I looked at her socials the other day when she was mentioned. It may be staged but they film out in the street in public. This woman was feeling up men's dicks with children walking by. It was disgusting.
Yes, but there is a major difference between someone making shock-value clickbait videos and acting outside normal social boundaries, and someone committing an actual criminal offense that would land them in prison. The latter is what I was referring to in my comment.
What does that have to do with anything being discussed here? There's a pretty big difference between arguing that something is criminal behavior and arguing that it's low-effort rage bait content. Whether her parents would be proud has absolutely nothing to do with whether a crime occurred.
probnotbatman | 11 hours ago
I have a smaller member myself, and the way I've always looked at it is simple: I can spend my life wishing I had something different, or I can make the most of what I have. I'd rather focus on the things I can actually control. And frankly, I'd rather be having sex with what I have than not having sex because I'm busy worrying about what I don't.
I've never felt like a partner was let down by my performance because of my size. The reality is that skill, confidence, communication, attentiveness, and experience matter far more than measurements. People online tend to treat size as if it's the single most important factor in sex, but that has never matched my real-world experience.
Sure, people have preferences, but being a good lover is a skill. Like any other skill, you can learn it, improve it, and get better at it. I'd much rather be someone who knows what they're doing than spend my time obsessing over something I can't change.
At some point you stop worrying about what you don't have and start making the most of what you do have. In my experience, that's what actually matters.
I've also found that a surprising number of women have told me that larger isn't necessarily better. A lot of guys who are naturally gifted in that department seem to assume that's all they need to bring to the table. Meanwhile, those of us who don't have that advantage tend to put more effort into actually learning what our partners enjoy and creating a good experience. Whether that's universally true or not, I've found that skill and effort consistently matter more than size ever has.
----Clementine---- | 11 hours ago
I appreciate that my partner also has your mentality about such things. He's the only man to ever make me actually cum from oral ... So there's that as well.
Additionally, I now have endometriosis, which includes some not so fun internal sexual changes to my body, and frankly I'm quite glad I don't need to worry about him hurting me. I've been accidentally hurt by partners in my past. The more modest size makes me more apt to enjoy giving oral to him because I can really work on my technique. (I actually perfected a technique specifically for his member, which helped enhance our intimacy and relationship, I feel.)
probnotbatman | 5 hours ago
I think that's been my experience too. A lot of guys seem to assume size is a substitute for effort, attention, or actually learning what their partner enjoys. The irony is that those things matter far more than whatever number they're obsessing over.
One advantage of being less endowed is that you learn pretty quickly that enthusiasm, communication, and technique are what actually make someone happy. Most women I've talked to care a lot more about feeling comfortable, desired, and understood than they do about some imaginary ideal. Your comment about developing techniques that worked specifically for your partner is a great example of that. That's the kind of thing that builds intimacy.
Of course, I may be biased, but I like to think those of us on the more modest end of the spectrum tend to become better students of the subject.
ParsleyMostly | 5 hours ago
Absolutely. Honestly the whole size thing is more of a guy thing than a woman’s. Women might talk about size, but it’s usually just locker room talk type of stuff. Not serious at all.
probnotbatman | 5 hours ago
I think that's largely true. Most of the obsession with size seems to come from men comparing themselves to other men, not from women making relationship decisions based on it. And what does it say about those men who are so obsessive about other men's members? I'd rather focus on women if I'm being honest.
In my experience, women generally care a lot more about whether a guy is attentive, communicative, and actually interested in their pleasure. Size gets talked about because it's easy to joke about or because it's an obvious physical trait, but once you're talking about long-term relationships and actual sexual satisfaction, it's usually pretty far down the list.
ParsleyMostly | 38 minutes ago
100%!
TheGeneGeena | 3 hours ago
Size isn't even all that. There are dudes out there who are well above average who are premature ejaculators... so I mean, average with good hang-time beats that hands down.
zeitgeistincognito | 4 hours ago
💯💯💯
re_Claire | a minute ago
I've slept with a guy with a genuinely enormous penis. It fucking hurt, it limited sex so much and he said to me that every guy wants a huge penis but it's not as fun when you can't necessarily do anything with it. He was such a lovely guy and I really felt for him. It didn't work out between us for other reasons not related to his penis.
I also happen to be bisexual and the weirdest and most consistent comments about it I've gotten from a subset of men are asking about dildos and how sex works without a penis, because they cannot fathom how to have sex without centering the penis. Obviously it's not all men who think like that but I think there is a depressing amount of guys who have been told that all that matters is having a huge penis and then are depressed and anxious because they have an average or below average sized penis.
As you say - learn to love your body no matter the size, and learn how to please women in other ways (most women don't even cum from penetrative sex) and you'll not only be happier but your partners will be way happier than if you had a big dick and expected that to do all the work.
GiantLesbian | 12 hours ago
Lesbians don’t have any trouble with 3 inch fingers, and they don’t even need to put the whole finger in there. The g-spot is like 2 inches in.
IMO4444 | 11 hours ago
To be fair, there are many lesbians not interested at all in penetration while some do (theres fisting for a reason). Same w straight women. I personally wouldnt be ok with only fingers or a penis of comparable size🤷🏻♀️.
Siren_of_Madness | 4 hours ago
>When I asked Clavicular recently how he felt about his own penis — he’s been open that he’s only average — he said that “in terms of maintaining a relationship with women, it’s a huge factor. But a girl who’s been run through is going to need a lot more to work with.”
God, this is so disgusting. Women don't get "run through" and loose from larger penises. Barf.
littlealbatross | 4 hours ago
Agreed, and then I had to laugh about the subsequent paragraphs being about how it’s so unacceptable to say mean things about women but talking about penis size is still acceptable. 🙄.
> It’s true that in polite society, a group of men sitting around sharing their girlfriends’ tit pix and talking openly about women’s bodies would be, at the very least, frowned upon, but women still have free rein on men’s bodies. “In the past, people would make fun of women. “She’s a dog. She’s a cow. She’s an old maid,’” said Snyder, the sex therapist. “Now, that’s socially unacceptable. But it’s regarded as perfectly fine to ridicule a man.”
rask0ln | 3 hours ago
i wonder what society he lives in, because sure there are people talking about how objectification/sexualisation was wrong, however it doesn't really reflect the reality (not to mention that women have always talked about this)—men still frequently comment on women's bodies both online and irl, if it was socially as unacceptable as he claims, he wouldn't have a looksmaxxing influencer talking about how women are run through
tydye29 | an hour ago
Right- same thing with something like racism, for example. Plenty of people know it's generally wrong (not everyone of course, but digress), but just look around online... plenty of racist stuff happening all around.
HRH_Elizadeath | 5 hours ago
As a heterosexual woman, nothing bores me more than men's endless obsession with their own dongs.
sharpbehind2 | 5 hours ago
Seriously. It's a constant fucking problem and in extreme circumstances, makes them serial killers.
HRH_Elizadeath | 5 hours ago
And, like, I'm not particularly conventionally attractive. I get it that it feels super crummy to be outside of what's "normal". But holy smokes, at some point you have to get over it and live your life!
Myobatrachidae | an hour ago
As a heterosexual man, it's frustrating to me how dick-centric so much of male sexuality is presented. Porn puts a ridiculous emphasis on size, we have idiotic phrases like "big dick energy" or "he's obviously compensating for something" and shit like that to make sure men feel like size is the most important thing. And it's almost always men making those jokes and making that porn. We're doing it to each other for no good reason and it drives me nuts.
Male sexuality has this amazing ability to be so much more, just like female sexuality is far more than breast size or waist-hip ratio or whatever bullshit is peddled at the moment.
HRH_Elizadeath | an hour ago
Amen!
Chaotic_MintJulep | 13 hours ago
“Then there’s No Kizzy Krazy, an influencer on Instagram who regularly racks up hundreds of thousands of views for her man-on-the-street interviews, where she grabs random mens’ crotches and guesses their inch count.”
Jesus. How has this person not been arrested? That’s horrible.
Nabobou | 12 hours ago
> How has this person not been arrested?
You should watch the videos and you'll understand why. They consistent of her asking questions about "what size are you" in a context that is clearly about penis length, then she asks "can i feel it?" and the person responds "yes" before a "pop up" appears saying you can view the uncensored version where she guesses the inch count on her Patreon.
Absent the part where it's almost certainly all staged click bait, I'm not sure why you would get arrested for doing something you've asked the other person permission for prior to doing it.
r4wrdinosaur | 3 hours ago
I looked at her socials the other day when she was mentioned. It may be staged but they film out in the street in public. This woman was feeling up men's dicks with children walking by. It was disgusting.
Nabobou | an hour ago
Yes, but there is a major difference between someone making shock-value clickbait videos and acting outside normal social boundaries, and someone committing an actual criminal offense that would land them in prison. The latter is what I was referring to in my comment.
zipiddydooda | 12 hours ago
Her parents must be terribly proud.
Nabobou | 12 hours ago
What does that have to do with anything being discussed here? There's a pretty big difference between arguing that something is criminal behavior and arguing that it's low-effort rage bait content. Whether her parents would be proud has absolutely nothing to do with whether a crime occurred.
Funkles_tiltskin | 3 hours ago
/idiocracy
zygoma_phile | 6 hours ago
How many times do we have to tell people it’s not the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean??
[OP] Petite-pops | 12 hours ago
archive link
textised link
SL_1183 | 5 hours ago
I had to stop reading when I got to the part about dick and ball injections. Eek.
Master_of_Ritual | 3 minutes ago
This was already posted.
nice_flutin_ralphie | 3 hours ago
Personally it’d just be nice to have something visually impressive. Not too big but big enough that if she sees it she reacts positively.
exfilm | an hour ago
So…a nice flute, Ralphie?